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CHAPTER
I
ON
MARRIAGE
WHEN a girl of the same caste, and a virgin, is married in accordance
with the precepts of Holy Writ, the results of such a union are
the acquisition of Dharma and Artha, offspring, affinity, increase
of friends, and untarnished love. For this reason a man should
fix his affections upon a girl who is of good family, whose parents
are alive, and who is three years or more younger than himself.
She should be born of a highly respectable family, possessed of
wealth, well connected, and with many relations and friends. She
should also be beautiful, of a good disposition, with lucky marks
on her body, and with good hair, nails, teeth, ears, eyes and
breasts, neither more nor less than they ought to be, and no one
of them entirely wanting, and not troubled with a sickly body.
The man should, of course, also possess these qualities himself.
But at all events, says Ghotakamukha, a girl who has been already
joined with others (i.e. no longer a maiden) should never be loved,
for it would be reproachable to do such a thing.
Now in order to bring about a marriage with such a girl as described
above, thee parents and relations of the man should exert themselves,
as also such friends on both sides as may be desired to assist
in the matter. These friends should bring to the notice of the
girl's parents, the faults, both present and future, of all
the other men that may wish to marry her, and should at the
same time extol even to exaggeration all the excellencies, ancestral,
and paternal, of their friend, so as to endear him to them,
and particularly to those that may be liked by the girl's mother.
One of the friends should also disguise himself as an astrologer,
and declare the future good fortune and wealth of his friend
by showing the existence of all the lucky omens1
and signs,2 the good influence of planets,
the auspicious entrance of the sun into a sign of the Zodiac,
propitious stars and fortunate marks on his body. Others again
should rouse the jealousy of the girl's mother by telling her
that their friend has a chance of getting from some other quarter
even a better girl than hers.
A girl should be taken as a wife, as also given in marriage,
when fortune, signs, omens, and the words3
of others are favourable, for, says Ghotakamukha, a man should
not marry at any time he likes. A girl who is asleep, crying,
or gone out of the house when sought in marriage, or who is
betrothed to another, should not be married. The following also
should be avoided:
- One
who is kept concealed
- One
who has an ill-sounding name
- One
who has her nose depressed
- One
who has her nostril turned up
- One
who is formed like a male
- One
who is bent down
- One
who has crooked thighs
- One
who has a projecting forehead
- One
who has a bald head
- One
who does not like purity
- One
who has been polluted by another
- One
who is affected with the Gulma4
- One
who is disfigured in any way
- One
who has fully arrived at puberty
- One
who is a friend
- One
who is a younger sister
- One
who is a Varshakari5
In the same way a girl who is called by the name of one of the
twenty-seven stars, or by the name of a tree, or of a river, is
considered worthless, as also a girl whose name ends in `r' or
`l'. But some authors say that prosperity is gained only by marrying
that girl to whom one becomes attached, and that therefore no
other girl but the one who is loved should be married by anyone.
When a girl becomes marriageable her parents should dress her
smartly, and should place her where she can be easily seen by
all. Every afternoon, having dressed her and decorated her in
a becoming manner, they should send her with her female companions
to sports, sacrifices, and marriage ceremonies, and thus show
her to advantage in society, because she is a kind of merchandise.
They should also receive with kind words and signs of friendliness
those of an auspicious appearance who may come accompanied by
their friends and relations for the purpose of marrying their
daughter, and under some pretext or other having first dressed
her becomingly, should then present her to them. After this
they should await the pleasure of fortune, and with this object
should appoint a future day on which a determination could be
come to with regard to their daughter's marriage. On this occasion
when the persons have come, the parents of the girl should ask
them to bathe and dine, and should say, `Everything will take
place at the proper time', and should not then comply with the
request, but should settle the matter later.
When a girl is thus acquired, either according to the custom
of the country, or according to his own desire, the man should
marry her in accordance with the precepts of the Holy Writ,
according to one of the four kinds of marriage.
Thus ends marriage.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
`Amusement in society, such as completing verses begun by others,
marriages, and auspicious ceremonies should be carried on neither
with superiors, nor inferiors, but with our equals. That should
be known as a high connection when a man, after marrying a girl,
has to serve her and her relations afterwards like a servant,
and such a connection is censured by the good. On the other
hand, that reproachable connection, where a man, together with
his relations, lords it over his wife, is called a low connection
by the wise. But when both the man and the woman afford mutual
pleasure to each other, and when the relatives on both sides
pay respect to one another, such is called a connection in the
proper sense of the word. Therefore a man should contract neither
a high connection by which he is obliged to bow down afterwards
to his kinsmen, nor a low connection, which is universally reprehended
by all.'
Footnotes
- 1
- The flight of a blue jay on a person's left
side is considered a lucky omen when one starts on any business;
the appearance of a cat before anyone at such a time is looked
on as a bad omen. There are many omens of the same kind.
- 2
- Such as the throbbing of the right eye of
men and the left eye of women, etc.
- 3
- Before anything is begun it is a custom
to go early in the morning to a neighbour's house, and overhear
the first words that may be spoken in his family, and according
as the words heard are of good or bad import, to draw an inference
as to the success or failure of the undertaking.
- 4
- A disease consisting of any glandular enlargement
in any part of the body.
- 5
- A woman, the palms of whose hands and the
soles of whose feet are always perspiring.
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