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CHAPTER
III
ON
COURTSHIP, AND THE MANIFESTATION OF THE FEELINGS BY OUTWARD
SIGNS AND DEEDS
A POOR man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low
family possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed
of wealth, and one under the control of his father, mother or
brothers, should not marry without endeavouring to gain over
the girl from her childhood to love and esteem him. Thus a boy
separated from his parents, and living in the house of his uncle,
should try to gain over the daughter of his uncle, or some other
girl, even though she be previously betrothed to another. And
this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is unexceptional,
because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it as well as
by any other way of marriage.
When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should
spend his time with her and amuse her with various games and
diversions fitted for their age and acquaintanceship, such
as picking and collecting flowers, making garlands of flowers,
playing the parts of members of a fictitious family, cooking
food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of odd
and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game
of six pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in
the country, and agreeable to the disposition of the girl.
In addition to this, he should carry on various amusing games
played by several persons together, such as hide and seek,
playing with seeds, hiding things in several small heaps of
wheat and looking for them, blindman's buff, gymnastic exercises,
and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl,
her friends and female attendants. The man should also show
great kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be
trusted, and should also make new acquaintances, but above
all he should attach to himself by kindness and little services
the daughter of the girl's nurse, for if she be gained over,
even though she comes to know of his design, she does not
cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect
a union between him and the girl. And though she knows the
true character of the man, she always talks of his many excellent
qualities to the parents and relations of the girl, even though
she may not be desired to do so by him.
In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most
delight in, and he should get for her whatever she may have
a desire to possess. Thus he should procure for her such playthings
as may be hardly known to other girls. He may also show her
a ball dyed with various colours, and other curiosities of
the same sort; and should give her dolls made of cloth, wood,
buffalo-horn, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils for cooking
food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing,
a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth,
bamboo, or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages
for parrots, cuckoos, starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges;
water-vessels of different sorts and of elegant forms, machines
for throwing water about, guitars, stands for putting images
upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow ointment, vermilion
and collyrium, as well as sandalwood, saffron, betel nut and
betel leaves. Such things should be given at different times
whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some
of them should be given in private, and some in public, according
to circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to
make her look upon him as one who would do for her everything
that she wanted to be done.
In the next place he should get her to meet him in some place
privately, and should then tell her that the reason of his
giving presents to her in secret was the fear that the parents
of both of them might be displeased, and then he may add that
the things which he had given her had been much desired by
other people. When her love begins to show signs of increasing
he should relate to her agreeable stories if she expresses
a wish to hear such narratives. Or if she takes delight in
legerdemain, he should amaze her by performing various tricks
of jugglery; or if she feels a great curiosity to see a performance
of the various arts, he should show his own skill in them.
When she is delighted with singing he should entertain her
with music, and on certain days, and at the time of going
together to moonlight fairs and festivals, and at the time
of her return after being absent from home, he should present
her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for the head,
and with ear ornaments and rings, for these are the proper
occasions on which such things should be presented.
He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all
the sixty-four means of pleasure practised by men, and under
this pretext should also inform her of his great skill in
the art of sexual enjoyment. All this time he should wear
a fine dress, and make as good an appearance as possible,
for young women love men who live with them, and who are handsome,
good looking and well dressed. As for the sayings that though
women may fall in love, they still make no effort themselves
to gain over the object of their affections, that is only
a matter of idle talk.
Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions,
such as the following:
She never looks the man in the face, and becomes abashed when
she is looked at by him; under some pretext or other she shows
her limbs to him; she looks secretly at him though he has
gone away from her side, hangs down her head when she is asked
some question by him, and answers in indistinct words and
unfinished sentences, delights to be in his company for a
long time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone with
the hope of attracting his attention towards her when she
is at a distance from him, does not wish to go from the place
where he is, under some pretext or other she makes him look
at different things, narrates to him tales and stories very
slowly so that she may continue conversing with him for a
long time, kisses and embraces before him a child sitting
in her lap, draws ornamental marks on the foreheads of her
female servants, performs sportive and graceful movements
when her attendants speak jestingly to her in the presence
of her lover, confides in her lover's friends, and respects
and obeys them, shows kindness to his servants, converses
with them, and engages them to do her work as if she were
their mistress, and listens attentively to them when they
tell stories about her lover to somebody else, enters his
house when induced to do so by the daughter of her nurse,
and by her assistance manages to converse and play with him,
avoids being seen by her lover when she is not dressed and
decorated, gives him by the hand of her female friend her
ear ornament, ring, or garland of flowers that he may have
asked to see, always wears anything that he may have presented
to her, becomes dejected when any other bridegroom is mentioned
by her parents, and does not mix with, those who may be of
his party, or who may support his claims.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
`A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl
towards him, and who has noticed the outward signs and movements
by which those feelings are expressed, should do everything
in his power to effect a union with her. He should gain over
a young girl by childlike sports, a damsel come of age by
his skill in the arts, and a girl that loves him by having
recourse to persons in whom she confides.'
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