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CHAPTER
I
OF
THE CHARACTERISTICS OF MEN AND WOMEN. THE REASONS WHY
WOMEN REJECT THE ADDRESSES OF MEN. ABOUT MEN WHO HAVE
SUCCESS WITH WOMEN, AND ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE EASILY GAINED
OVER
THE wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions
already described in Part I, Chapter V, of this work, but
the possibility of their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation,
the danger to oneself in uniting with them, and the future
effect of these unions, should first of all be examined. A
man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose of
saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for her
proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These degrees
are ten in number, and are distinguished by the following
marks:
- Love
of the eye
- Attachment
of the mind
- Constant
reflection
- Destruction
of sleep
- Emaciation
of the body
- Turning
away from objects of enjoyment
- Removal
of shame
- Madness
- Fainting
- Death
Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition,
truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the
intensity, or weakness of her passions, from the form of her
body, and from her characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana
is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and the characteristic
marks or signs are but erring tests of character, and that
women should be judged by their conduct, by the outward expression
of their thoughts, and by the movements of their bodies.
Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls
in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does every
man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but frequently they
do not take any further steps, owing to various considerations.
In love the following circumstances are peculiar to the
woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong,1
and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment
of some particular purpose. Moreover, when a man first makes
up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even though she
may be willing to unite herself with him. But when the attempts
to gain her are repeated and renewed, she at last consents.
But with a man, even though he may have begun to love, he
conquers his feelings from a regard for morality and wisdom,
and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does
not yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over.
He sometimes makes an attempt or effort to win the object
of his affections, and having failed, he leaves her alone
for the future. In the same way, when a woman is once gained,
he often becomes indifferent about her. As for the saying
that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and
only desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty,
it is only a matter of talk.
The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are
as follows:
- Affection
for her husband
- Desire
of lawful progeny
- Want
of opportunity
- Anger
at being addressed by the man too familiarly
- Difference
in rank of life
- Want
of certainty on account of the man being devoted travelling
- Thinking
that the man may be attached to some other person
- Fear
of the man's not keeping his intentions secret
- Thinking
that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too
great a regard for them
- The
apprehension that he is not in earnest
- Bashfulness
on account of his being an illustrious man
- Fear
on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too
impetuous passion, in the case of the deer woman
- Bashfulness
on account of his being too clever
- The
thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms
only
- Contempt
of his want of knowledge of the world
- Distrust
of his low character
- Disgust
at his want of perception of her love for him
- In
the case of an elephant woman, the thought that he is
a hare man, or a man of weak passion
- Compassion
lest anything should befall him on account of his passion
- Despair
at her own imperfections
- Fear
of discovery
- Disillusion
at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearance
- Fear
that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastity
- The
thought that he has too much regard for morality
Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should
endeavour to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the
bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability,
he should remove by showing his great love and affection for
her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity, or of his
inaccessibility, he should remove by showing her some easy
way of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman
for him should be removed by making himself very familiar.
The difficulties that arise from his being thought a low character
he should remove by showing his valour and his wisdom; those
that come from neglect by extra attention; and those that
arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.
The following are the men who generally obtain success with
women:
- Men
well versed in the science of love
- Men
skilled in telling stories
- Men
acquainted with women from their childhood Men
- who
have secured their confidence
- Men
who send presents to them
- Men
who talk well
- Men
who do things that they like
- Men
who have not loved other women previously
- Men
who act as messengers
- Men
who know their weak points
- Men
who are desired by good women
- Men
who are united with their female friends
- Men
who are good looking
- Men
who have been brought up with them
- Men
who are their neighbours
- Men
who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though these
be with their own servants
- The
lovers of the daughters of their nurse
- Men
who have been lately married
- Men
who like picnics and pleasure parties
- Men
who are liberal
- Men
who are celebrated for being very strong (Bull men)
- Enterprising
and brave men
- Men
who surpass their husbands in learning and good looks,
in good qualities, and in liberality
- Men
whose dress and manner of living are magnificent
The following are the women who are easily gained over:
- Women
who stand at the doors of their houses
- Women
who are always looking out on the street
- Women
who sit conversing in their neighbour's house
- A
woman who is always staring at you
- A
female messenger
- A
woman who looks sideways at you
- A
woman whose husband has taken another wife without any
just cause
- A
woman who hates her husband, or who is hated by him
- A
woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep her in
check
- A
woman who has not had any children
- A
woman whose family or caste is not well known
- A
woman whose children are dead
- A
woman who is very fond of society
- A
woman who is apparently very affectionate with her husband
- The
wife of an actor
- A
widow
- A
poor woman
- A
woman fond of enjoyments
- The
wife of a man with many younger brothers
- A
vain woman
- A
woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank or abilities
- A
woman who is proud of her skill in the arts
- A
woman disturbed in mind by the folly of her husband
- A
woman who has been married in her infancy to a rich man,
and not liking him when she grows up, desires a man possessing
a disposition, talents, and wisdom suitable to her own
tastes.
- A
woman who is slighted by her husband without any cause
- A
woman who is not respected by other women of the same
rank or beauty as herself
- A
woman whose husband is devoted to travelling
- The
wife of a jeweller
- A
jealous woman
- A
covetous woman
- An
immoral woman
- A
barren woman
- A
lazy woman
- A
cowardly woman
- A
humpbacked woman
- A
dwarfish woman
- A
deformed woman
- A
vulgar woman
- An
ill-smelling woman
- A
sick woman
- An
old woman
There are also two verses on the subject as follows:
`Desire, which springs from nature, and which is increased
by art, and from which all danger is taken away by wisdom,
becomes firm and secure. A clever man, depending on his
own ability, and observing carefully the ideas and thoughts
of women, and removing the causes of their turning away
from men, is generally successful with them.'
Footnotes
- 1
- On peut tout attendre et tout supposer
d'une femme amoureuse. - Balzac
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