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CHAPTER
II
ABOUT
MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE WOMAN, AND OF THE EFFORTS
TO GAIN HER OVER
ANCIENT authors are of opinion that girls are not so easily
seduced by employing female messengers as by the efforts
of the man himself, but that the wives of others are more
easily got at by the aid of female messengers than by the
personal efforts of the man. But Vatsyayana lays it down
that whenever it is possible a man should always act himself
in these matters, and it is only when such is impracticable,
or impossible, that female messengers should be employed.
As for the saying that women who act and talk boldly and
freely are to be won by the personal efforts of the man,
and that women who do not possess those qualities are to
be got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.
Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first
of all make the acquaintance of the woman he loves in
the following manner:
He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a
natural or special opportunity. A natural opportunity
is when one of them goes to the house of the other, and
a special opportunity is when they meet either at the
house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or
a physician, as also on the occasion of marriage ceremonies,
sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and garden parties.
When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at
her in such a way as to cause the state of his mind to
be made known to her; he should pull about his moustache,
make a sound with his nails, cause his own ornaments to
tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other signs
of that description. When she is looking at him he should
speak to his friends about her and other women, and should
show to her his liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments.
When sitting by the side of a female friend he should
yawn and twist his body, contract his eyebrows, speak
very slowly as if he was weary, and listen to her indifferently.
A conversation having two meanings should also be carried
on with a child or some other person, apparently having
regard to a third person, but really having reference
to the woman he loves, and in this way his love should
be made manifest under the pretext of referring to others
rather than to herself. He should make marks that have
reference to her, on the earth with his nails, or with
a stick, and should embrace and kiss a child in her presence,
and give it the mixture of betel nut and betel leaves
with his tongue, and press its chin with his fingers in
a caressing way. All these things should be done at the
proper time and in proper places.
The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her
lap, and give it something to play with, and also take
the same back again. Conversation with respect to the
child may also be held with her, and in this manner he
should gradually become well acquainted with her, and
he should also make himself agreeable to her relations.
Afterwards, this acquaintance should be made a pretext
for visiting her house frequently, and on such occasions
he should converse on the subject of love in her absence
but within her hearing. As his intimacy with her increases
he should place in her charge some kind of deposit or
trust, and take away from it a small portion at a time;
or he may give her some fragrant substances, or betel
nuts to be kept for him by her. After this he should endeavour
to make her well acquainted with his own wife, and get
them to carry on confidential conversations, and to sit
together in lonely places. In order to see her frequently
he should arrange so that the same goldsmith, the same
jeweller, the same basket maker, the same dyer, and the
same washerman should be employed by the two families.
And he should also pay her long visits openly under the
pretence of being engaged with her on business, and one
business should lead to another, so as to keep up the
intercourse between them. Whenever she wants anything,
or is in need of money, or wishes to acquire skill in
one of the arts, he should cause her to understand that
he is willing and able to do anything that she wants,
to give her money, or teach her one of the arts, all these
things being quite within his ability and power. In the
same way he should hold discussions with her in company
with other people, and they should talk of the doings
and sayings of other persons, and examine different things,
like jewellery, precious stones, etc. On such occasions
he should show her certain things with the values of which
she may be unacquainted, and if she begins to dispute
with him about the things or their value, he should not
contradict her, but point out that he agrees with her
in every way.
Thus end the ways of making the acquaintance of woman
desired.
Now after a girl has become acquainted with the man as
above described, and has manifested her love to him by
the various outward signs and by the motions of her body,
the man should make every effort to gain her over. But
as girls are not acquainted with sexual union, they should
be treated with the greatest delicacy, and the man should
proceed with considerable caution, though in the case
of other women, accustomed to sexual intercourse, this
is not necessary. When the intentions of the girl are
known, and her bashfulness put aside, the man should begin
to make use of her money, and an interchange of clothes,
flowers should be made. In this the man should take particular
care that the things given by him are handsome and valuable.
He should moreover receive from her a mixture of betel
nut and betel leaves, and when he is going to a party
he should ask for the flower in her hair, or for the flower
in her hand. If he himself gives her a flower it should
be a sweet smelling one, and marked with marks made by
his nails or teeth. With increasing assiduity he should
dispel her fears, and by degrees get her to go with him
to some lonely place, and there he should embrace and
kiss her. And finally at the time of giving her some betel
nut, or of receiving the same from her, or at the time
of making an exchange of flowers, he should touch and
press her private parts, thus bringing his efforts to
a satisfactory conclusion.
When a man is endeavouring to seduce one woman, he should
not attempt to seduce any other at the same time. But
after he has succeeded with the first, and enjoyed her
for a considerable time, he can keep her affections by
giving her presents that she likes, and then commence
making up to another woman. When a man sees the husband
of a woman going to some place near his house, he should
not enjoy the woman then, even though she may be easily
gained over at that time. A wise man having a regard for
his reputation should not think of seducing a woman who
is apprehensive, timid, not to be trusted, well guarded,
or possessed of a father-in-law, or mother-in-law.
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